Ive been thinking this week about my future performances with music at venues, doing gigs/etc that i had planned.
I am feeling like i no longer want to do this. Something to do with all the attention that will come to me after i have finished the performance, because now that i’m established on the raw foods, and i am no longer addicted to drugs, nicotine, caffeine, junk foods, orgasms, the performances will be far more focused with more energy, clarity and vitality.
So, do i want this ‘adulation’ energy coming towards me ? Do i want the ‘sexual energy’ being aimed at me ?
I can already feel that these things will happen, because i have developed myself with my music and songs and have been working on performance at home and at the core arts centre. I am feeling like i do not want this energy, and i am so pleased to have perceived this, and somewhat relieved to have discovered that i have a choice about this.
So, i will not be doing the performances and gigs/etc that i planned to do, and will just carry on with my performances at home, which i am very much enjoying as they are progressing, and will carry on with the busking.
I am quite astonished about all of this, i have become so spiritually sensitive, that i feel that by setting up gigs for myself, and inviting people, and advertising the gigs, will have a negative effect that i would not have been aware of if i would have stayed addicted. I feel like my previous addicted self would very much like the adoration and the sexual energy!
I find it quite amusing that the adoration and sexual energy does not work in the same way when i’m busking in a tunnel! Something to do with the unplanned spontaneous nature of a person in motion, as they walk past something artistic…on their way to somewhere?
All of this may change again at some point, as life is not set in stone, and i may decide to perform in venues, maybe i could transmute the adulation and sexual energy coming towards me in some way? hm? as i have transmuted my own orgasms for the last 48 days, and i would have never thought i could do something like that, we shall see.
I will however, carry on working on my debut album, and i already have ideas for future albums, and making music videos.